Allow me to horrify you.

oh you wouldn't believe me if you didn't read it yourself

wow, since june, huh?

here you go then:

a mechanical shit-making machine:
http://www.artnet.com/magazine/reviews/fiers/fiers1-9-01.asp

mesmerizingly, machines destroying anything:
http://www.ssiworld.com/watch/watch-en.htm

monkeys will pay for porn:
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2005-01/cp-mpp012705.php

spiderman bible stories: http://www.portlandmercury.com/columns/spider-mans-greatest-bible-stories/Content?oid=26782

bush to the entire internet: fuck you

Questions Are a Burden to Others, Answers a Prison for Oneself

Now this is some awesome fucking news: The Prisoner Remake. If you've never seen the series -- and really, unless you are a big NPR fan or love 60's scifi/intrigue etc then there'd be no reason to -- the short version is: a nameless spy quits being a spy and gets kidnapped, woken to find himself trapped on an island, ("the Village") interrogated in most bizarre manner about his motives for leaving his job. He's referred to as "Number 6" and the person running the Village is always Number 2. I'm doing a bad job of explaining it, but cf http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prisoner. Note that while number 6 is nameless, the obvious implication is that he's "Danger Man". This shit was the LOST of it's day and seeing as how it has an end, for my money, it wins out over LOST.

Here's a fan-made video of Death Cab For Cutie's "We Looked Like Giants" that is made up of video from the series.

When Internet Commenters Invade Reality

Business Meeting
Retirement Party
Funeral

i daresay it would give a merry toot

not photoshopped. I imagine that in this situation, I would shit myself to death.

PKD at the movies

http://entertainment.slashdot.org/entertainment/08/05/31/015213.shtml

whoa. Probably my favorite PKD novel dramatized. Hrm. Consider that all of stuff that's been movie-ized has so far been from short stories (the one exception being "A Scanner Darkly", which Linklater got so fucking spot-on that it's amazingly scary and gorgeous. I mean he even got the paranoia feeling down. It's amazing.)

no wonder kids don't learn

fucking muggles

Banksy - The Cans Festival. - a set on Flickr

Banksy - The Cans Festival. - a set on Flickr

baby we don't love baby we don't love baby we don't love you

also also, modest mouse is coming!

Joseph Palmer: Perscuted For Wearing The Beard - Jon Dyer’s Blog. Now that's a man with commitment to facial hair.

Cupid's getting kinkier every fucking year

"makes you feel pleasure" is surprisingly not in the top 10.

I have long been both a lecherous pervert and fascinated with the brain and mind, so naturally this article on the orgasmic mind was fascinating stuff to me. Scientific American also has a buncha jawsome articles that are semi-related, e.g. Why We Kiss, which when you think about it, has got to be the most amazing caveman discover ever ("...so...if we put our food/noise/biting holes together but don't bite...it feels good?" I've heard it theorized before that it started as a feeding ritual for those unable to feed themselves.)

Life's mysteries explained

You Suck at Photoshop, Supplemental

A while back, I linked you guys to a new series of videos on The Internet called "You Suck at Photoshop", wherein a surly Photoshop expert attempts to educate the populous on how to use the tool while his life crumbles around him. At the time, there were only four episodes.

Now, there are 10. After the last one is a followup by one of the reoccurring characters in the series. If you liked the first four, check out the rest. If not, then you suck at photoshoplife.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

By now, you may know that they are coming out with a new Batman movie. You may have even seen the trailer. Well, someone took scenes from the original movie and spliced them together to match the new trailer. The author of that post thought it was the original trailer, but later links to the actual original trailer in his post. Even still, seeing the old footage beside the new one with the new audio is pretty awesome. Then again, I'm a bit of a Batman fan.

BATMAN > SUPERMAN
4 LYFE

My new diet will make me a millionaire!

I just have to convince people to move to certain parts of Canada.

fuck was i

artist is Jesse Owen Youngs, song is "Fuck Was I"

well, that sucks

So I guess that's a good excuse to not do it.

I wonder if the vaccine for ladies will work on men.

Ben Stein, You're an Evil Liar

Scientific American has an excellent quickie article by the name of Six Things in Expelled That Ben Stein Doesn't Want You to Know... which summarizes the manipulation behind the Expelled movie fiasco. Fuck you, Ben Stein: you are doing your part in making America (and by proxy, the world,) a dumber place. If there were cause to treat ID or creationism as science, why would you need to be a manipulative liar?

Guess who's back, back again. Tell a friend, tell a friend, tell a friend.

Hey Ladies, he's 22 and single: http://www.bmezine.com/news/guest/20080318.html

I cannot stop singing and dancing along to the Wombat's "Let's Dance to Joy Division": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyCi4CMD29w

Everything old is new again, part 9843: V TV series to be remade: http://io9.com/378520/closer-than-ever-to-a-v-movie-and-new-series

Previously on LOST: What?

Hey, remember Silence of the Lambs? Great Movie, huh? Remember when Clarice tries to bribe Hannibal Lecter by promising him a reassignment to Plum Island, home to Animal Disease Studies? Hey, guess what's in the news!? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080411/ap_on_go_ot/animal_disease_1

I have been listening to JWZ's mixtapes pretty exclusively for the last week or so. They are made of 100% pure awesome. http://www.dnalounge.com/webcast/mixtapes/ They are in fact, how I found that "let's dance to joy division" song. In the admittedly unlikely case that you were wondering who JWZ is, if you're using Mozilla/Firefox, he's responsible for that. http://www.jwz.org/

I may have, once or twice, mentioned how awesome I think Phillip K. Dick's short stories are. Have I mentioned that he was fucking crazy? http://www.philipkdickfans.com/weirdo.htm

I love old world maps, especially old world maps of the old world. Wait, that came out wrong. Anyway, here's a cool site all about strange maps: http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/

Awesome? AWESOME: http://www.yuppiepunk.org/2008/04/a-not-so-complete-history-of-literary-tattoos.html

call this number for a data-date

Robot Love

Aliens downed Tunguska meteorite to save Earth - Pravda.Ru

Aliens downed Tunguska meteorite to save Earth - Pravda.Ru

well of course, how could we miss that before?

Award for World's Most Stubborn Woman?

I feel pretty confident in saying that this woman has some issues.

stop or i'll poke your eye out

from the women are vile and pernicious files: http://www.nature.com/news/2008/080226/full/news.2008.625.html

and from the it's only funny until someone gets hurt files: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2008/02/26/qc-sadomacho-stbruno.html

it's not your fault you can't find the fucking thing. ok, it really is:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7254523.stm

well, at least there's proof that we just think differently now. Not that thousands of years of empirical evidence isn't Just As Good As Proof. http://www.physorg.com/news122122203.html

Architecture: Stairs Bookcase Actually Makes Me Want to Move to London

The world's most awesome staircase.

No, really.

ripoff or art?

Common Ties, a post-postsecret site. or something. instead of postcards, it's stories and pictures tied together. mostly sad, so far.

Need a new place in which to lose your loose change?

Look no further!

Canned Fast Food

I'm not even joking.

The Real Message in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"

The Real Message in 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'

You Suck at Photoshop

Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4

This guy is actively making more of these (the last one was posted on Friday). My favorite parts are the hidden easter eggs that he never points out but throws in each video.

new and last email thing, I guess.

So the email thing I send out got two bounce-backs from AOL users (you know who you are). So I have decided to skip the emails and just put this shit up on a blog. Enjoy -- or don't, whatever. If you would like to see the other "mails" that I sent out (which they no longer are, I guess) and don't want to go through your email, click on the "email newsletter thing" tag on the right hand side and that'll take you to the other posts that I have labeled as such.

If you would still rather be emailed, let me know and I'll set something automagic up for you or something enter your email address in the lower-right hand box for that sorta thing. It's run by feedburner and I do not keep (or know) your email address, so I won't be able to use it for anything.


The 6 Most Terrifying Foods in the World: http://www.cracked.com/article_14979_6-most-terrifying-foods-in-world.html
Seriously, it's horrifying.

BEERTASTROPHE
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=2151717824&size=l

MightyMon found this and I will forever be thankful: http://www.japanesebugfights.com/

deep fried things that ought not to be deep fried: http://www.mirkocredito.com/FRITTURE2007/index.htm

porn on blu-ray signals the coffin nails for HD-DVD: http://www.t3.com/news/blu-ray-porn?=35064 -- this is actually more prevalent than most people realize; the porn industry informally choosing VHS over BETAMAX is what signaled the death-knell for Beta, really. And it was the invention of online porn that led to the "common man" deeper into the interwebaolnetnet. Porn and tech advances go hand in hand, no matter how old the tech is.

I will give a special surprise gift to anyone who actually prints this out and sends me a picture of them wearing it: http://www.brandonbird.com/halloween_treat.html

Today's cockle-warming story is not so much about heart-warming but actually about boob-cooling: http://loudounextra.washingtonpost.com/news/2008/jan/10/how-frozen-peas-started-movement/

I usually get my way by being the most patient motherfucker in the world, and if that doesn't work then I am more of a prick, but I suppose this could be a useful way of dealing with annoying customer service: http://consumerist.com/341815/how-to-mind-control-customer-service-reps?source=rss

Lord of the Rings, if Tolkien had been diabetic: http://missedmanners.wordpress.com/2008/01/03/battle-of-pelennor-fields/

A game popular for centuries. http://www.exsorbeo.com/

Think or Thwim » How To Hide An Airplane Factory

Think or Thwim » How To Hide An Airplane Factory

where else would you play?

XKCD for the hardcore geek.

sacrilicious!

sacrilicious! http://www.adultswim.com/games/biblefight/index.html

fuck you for shitting on the constitution you fucking fuck: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/27/washington/27cnd-gonzales.html

actually kind of catchy http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1765963

not what you think: http://www.cooterfestival.com/

http://www.guinness.com/a/img/craic/downloads/wallpaper/1024x768/dreamclubSq1024.jpg

minotaur having a breakdown in a public bathroom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TssuSYrxVI very creepy and yet full of pathos. Also, hey, Einsturzende Neubaten that has melody, instead of dudes hitting shopping carts with rebar.

Some friends of mine recently won an award for a film they put together for MOCA (Museum of Contemporary Art, for you philistines). See the very short film at http://uvu.channel2.org/PublicSite/Video.aspx?id=805&skin=5

An idea whose time has come: Wiki Cookbooks http://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook:Table_of_Contents admittedly, not as good as abuelita's cooking, but hey, something's better than nothing.

I know it makes me a bad person, but I can't help but laugh at http://www.10dailythings.com/2007/08/15/guinea-pigs-fighting-for-a-cucumber/

...and the moral of the story is: don't get bare with bears with beer. http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/08/20/bear.death.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

if you're any kind of artist or creative person, you should see the potential in this: http://www.tdbspecialprojects.com/

Here is a picture of a tiger feeding piglets. I am attaching it specifically for Silvia, because I said I would. I don't remember why, but well, there it is.








I don't know, but it looks freaky: http://defamer.com/hollywood/psychedelic-hobbits/elijah-wood-and-friends-happy-to-inform-you-the-drugs-are-working-291475.php

make your own non-newtownian fluid: http://www.gogglemarks.net/index.php?action=project&id=4
...wait, you don't know what a non-newtownian fluid is? see http://youtube.com/watch?v=f2XQ97XHjVw or http://youtube.com/watch?v=lDzampa3xrc or creepiest of all: http://youtube.com/watch?v=WTCkVh9CWT8

origami for asthmatic kids: http://www.changemakers.net/en-us/node/1389

You may have seen it already, but god, it just hurts to watch someone be this stupid in public: "Well I believe that US Americans can't, um, do that, find America on a map, because, I believe, some people don't have maps, and, our education, like South Africa - and countries in Asia - we should help them. South Africa and those Asian countries, we should help educate them." -- Miss Teen USA 2007, South Carolina http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQdhMSEqhfg

do you know how hard it is to find dancing bears?

You are getting this random assortment of links for entertainment purposes. And to waste time with at work. Consider it anti-spam, or the obverse of those links your interwebaolnet-unsavvy friend sends you (you know, "OMG CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY WANT TO TAX TEH WEB?!?" or "HERE'S A CHAIN LETTER THAT SAYS YOUR GENITALS WILL FALL OFF IF YOU DON'T PASS IT ALONG"). If this email bothers you, um....tell me and I won't send you any more. Or just delete it. Whatever.

The sad part is that they really live for the tango: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070615/ap_on_re_eu/bulgaria_dancing_bears_2

Man, Disney's really stretching the copyright on Mickey....http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2007/06/15/mickey_arc.html?category=archaeology&guid=20070615090000&dcitc=w19-502-ak-0000

I know I sent this out before, but it's still funny, and who doesn't love smoking horses? http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2457332

Well, as long as we're talking smoking horses, let's talk about eating dinosaurs: http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/C/CHINA_DINOSAUR_MEDICINE?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

I have of late been fascinated by Nikola Tesla. Among other things, he liked electricity enough to invent the alternating current. And the Tesla Coil, which even if you don't know what that is, you've seen in countless shitty horror movies. See a musical tesla coil: http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=23904 Speaking of weirdo scientists, isaac newton: genius or religious crank? http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/06/18/newton.papers.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories on the one hand, the man invented calculus and just by thinking, explained the basic language of nature and the universe. on the other hand, he once put a sewing needle between his eyeball and his skull and moved it around a lot, just to see what would happen (he was experimenting with the effect that distortion of the ocular globe would have on vision, but still). This would be after he spent three days in a black room for having stared at the sun for a hour. Again, just to see what would happen.

Bubba nosferatu and the curse of the she-vampires is being made: http://imdb.com/title/tt0457295/ This is a prequel to the movie "Bubba Ho-Tep". Brief summary of Bubba Hotep: The real Elvis gets tired of the hoopla about being The King. So he (The real Elvis Aaron Presley,) hires an Elvis impersonator to play him and he goes and does Elvis tribute shows, getting to "rock out" without being mobbed for being Elvis. Except the next week his impersonator is the dude who dies on the toilet. And the real Elvis continues his merry life of "playing" Elvis and getting to be a musician. Except he falls off a stage and hits his head and winds up in a coma. For 20 years. When he wakes up, he's in a nursing home sharing a room with a black dude who says he's John F. Kennedy -- the CIA gave him a brain transplant into a black guy so no one'd believe him, and packed the missing brain area with sand. Circumstances being what they are, a mummy ends up loose in the nursing home, stalking the old people (which makes sense, where else could a mummy pose a threat? Mummies stumble slowly, but it's not like old people can run fast.) ANYWAY, Bubba Nosferatu and the Curse of the She-Vampires is a prequel, wherein Elvis fights vampires. Did I mention that Bruce Campbell plays Elvis? Cos he does: http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/1494/Events/1494/BruceCampb_Vespa_609180_400.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0281686

http://marriedtothesea.com/ is a web-comic made of old pictures from woodcuts etc. It's great. I am very fond of http://www.marriedtothesea.com/051606/nutz.gif but they're all pretty funny.

I have trouble sleeping sometimes....if you do too, you might like: http://ririanproject.com/2007/06/21/how-to-sleep-more-effectively-starting-tonight/

HIV taken out of live cells: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=737AB56E-E7F2-99DF-382B756D1860EACA&chanID=sa003 as in, the cells were infected, then they snipped the HIV outta the cells. Whoa. Wait until they cure HIV/AIDS. Mark my words: there will be fucking in the streets.

phernomones cause brain cell growth: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/calgary/story/2007/07/02/cal-pheromones.html?ref=rss So the next time your certain someone acts stupid, get 'em to smell your sweat. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, folks.

Household tips: http://www.power-yoga.com/Community/KitchenTips/tabid/159/mid/520/dnnprintmode/true/Default.aspx

hey, new list for the wonders of the modern world: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070705/ap_on_re_eu/new_seven_wonders_glance_1 (cos the 7 wonders of the ancient world mostly don't exist anymore. except the pyramids at giza and it's not like they're in that good shape...)

The discovery of molecular receptors totally revolutionized medicine; it's made it possible to "aim" a particular drug at a particular cell-type's receptors and be reasonably sure you're going to affect that cell type and not the whole body. (aside: if you don't think this is close to magic, consider that the other option is to basically hit a mosquito with a cannon. c.f. treating cancer with radiation and chemotherapy.) So it's good news that a new type snail venom (no, I'm not kidding,) has been found that does very specific targeting: http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/07/14/1654244 But that's not why I'm writing all of this shit down. No no no no no no. I'm telling you all this just so that I can link you to a very short video clip of one of these snails attacking, stunning and eating a fish: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2213559523134687406&q=cone+snail&total=35&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=5

last link for the hypochondriacs in da house: http://symptoms.webmd.com/symptomchecker

so, latest email thing

Seriously, HOLY FUCKING SHIT: http://maps.google.com/help/maps/streetview/index.html Man, I don't know if the google dorks are geniuses or psychos, but that's firmly in both lands. Check out the South Beach one. A geek-news site has discussion on the privacy aspects of it: http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/06/01/1219256&from=rss

So THAT's what I've been doing wrong: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18914479/?GT1=9951

Laugh, it's good for you: http://picks.yahoo.com/picks/i/20070531.html

Clothing. Made of condoms. http://pileofphotos.com/view/78/Clothes_made_of_condoms

Politically, I'm not so much FOR the democratic party as I am AGAINST the republican party. In that spirit, please read Matt Taibi's latest article, which is a FUCK YOU to both democratic and republican parties: http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/51687/

Jesus Christ Supershark: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10470057

I am a prankster. I appreciate the art behind it. I have to rein that in though, because I tend to just go straight for OH MY FUCKING GOD levels of revenge. But let's witness someone else's prank: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9Xw_b3HeUY ah, butter on the floor. a true classic. simple and cheap.

Who knows, this shit might come in handy one day: http://www.thehumanaught.com/blog/2006/07/09/how-to-spot-a-jap/

I am seriously considering going to Wisconsin JUST to see this: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/WIBARforever.html

Hey, yeah, memorial day, right: http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_108083.asp Personally, my old man was in Vietnam, and he threatened to lock me in a loony bin if I ever joined the Armed Forces. Hey, who am I to disagree?

TETRIS ice cubes: http://www.instructables.com/id/EFGVY0RF22FIBN6/?ALLSTEPS

Make your own Pinocchio: http://puppetbuilding.com/marionettes/how-to-make-a-pinocchio-marionette.html

Pictures on your wrist: http://www.instructables.com/id/E5E87VOF2AX8PNT/?ALLSTEPS

Hey, that's a neat sculpture: http://cre.ations.net/creation/stuff-i-do

Wow, chili sauce: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18948833?GT1=9951

DIE, YOU FUCKING FUCK http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070531/ap_on_hi_te/spam_arrest_10

And to finish, first an explanation of LOLCAT from the venerable WikiPedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolcats
and now that you know what LOLCAT is, please to be enjoying the LOLCAT site du jour: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

15 reasons Mr Rogers rocked: http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/5943

spidercat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA97bT8WMSs&

hey, don't get lost: http://strangemaps.wordpress.com/