"There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'

I'm bored and it's been at least a week since I've mailed most of you, so you get a generic mail that is bound to entertain you at least as long as it takes you to hit delete.

The subject is a quote from Kurt Vonnegut's "Goodbye Mr Rosewater". Vonnegut died this week and if you're not familiar with his writing, your life is sadder for it. You've seen back to school, the Rodney Dangerfield 80's piece of shit movie? Remember when he hires a guy to write a term paper about Kurt Vonnegut and the professor says "whoever wrote this paper doesn't know anything about Kurt Vonnegut" ? The dude who Dangerfield hires to write the paper -- that's Kurt Vonnegut.

So last week I spoke to my lawyer/guitarist friend and it turns out that he and his wife are so freaked out about pet food killing their dogs that she's taken to cooking food for them and giving him dogfood. I'll miss you bro -- can I have your guitars? Turns out that making your own pet food is perhaps not that hard: http://www.heraldnet.com/stories/07/03/31/100loc_a8petmeals001.cfm

I found that last link at the ever-"oh-neat!"-inducing site, http://www.lifehacker.com/

Incredibly funny and horrifying at the same time: http://www.theonion.com/content/video/panda_demands_abortion(no it's not true, it's satire damn it. i know someone that I'll email this to will need that explained.)

dumbest legal battle ever: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070403/ap_on_fe_st/baby_metallica_6

saddest kermit ever (also a must-see for Nine Inch Nails fans, this means you Robert): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLQRv0RjBBM

Getting off a government watch list: http://www.wired.com/politics/onlinerights/news/2007/04/watchlist2

"NATURE IS A LANGUAGE CAN'T YOU READ?", or Continuing a theme, part deux: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFyXk7O419o
(part one is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGNN2L-Wh5I)

If you like postsecret (http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ if you don't know what I'm talking about) then you maybe wanna hit up the live expo here in miami .. http://www.charleeprogram.org/news_detail.cfm?news_id=9

This goes to my neo-hippie peeps (you know who you are,) : http://www.hippy.com/php/article-243.html

Better brains through science: http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/0e54d952c97b1110vgnvcm1000004eecbccdrcrd.html

And I'll leave you with a bad joke: what do vegeterian zombies crave? GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNSSSS.....

i grabbed my head and we fell into it like a daydream or a fever

I hurt my back so I'm bored. Which means you get an email full of weird stuff.

ok, so you may or may not have seen michel gondry's "the science of sleep" (i haven't, but i hear it's good. i recommend the "director's series" compilation DVD though.) but he's done a bunch of music videos that are really bizarre and imaginative (bjork, beck, etc -- to give you a taste, here's a Cibo Matto vid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPJ9TS_5tAo ). the man's a visual poet of very high caliber, just take my word for it. but that's not why i bring Michel Gondry up. I bring him up for cheap comedy; to wit:

see michel gondry solve a rubik's cube with his feet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiQXgmVVGNA

ok, but where's the art in that? here's how he did it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaVsaWjzsds

and then again, here's michel gondry solving a rubik's cube WITH HIS NOSE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pB8XedMowDU

really really great for decorating an office: http://www.blockposters.com/(upload a picture, tell it how many pages wide and viola, printable poster)

genius, but you know it's gonna suck when you're juuuuuust running out: http://www.gizmag.com/go/6534/

the empire doesn't pay like it used to: http://www.cinematical.com/2007/03/03/darth-vader-commits-armed-robbery-in-north-carolina

also really great (but weird) art: http://www.funforever.net/archives/category/cool/

I can't stop listening to this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_xVDaDJqWs -- no wait i meant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-K4CXvxNcw

Godspeed! You Black Emperor's "The Dead Flag Blues" in video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS2BrxcWWZA (cf GYBE! live: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUQEJpLm2DA "world police / friendly fire")

am forgetful. i seriously have not spoken to people for months because i just forget to call them back. http://www.hassleme.co.uk/ might help you if you're like me.

a cellphone that biodegrades and sprouts flowers: http://www.24hourmuseum.org.uk/nwh_gfx_en/ART35325.html

sleep, it's good for your brain: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_article_id=437683&in_page_id=1965http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2007-02/uoa-oit022307.phpin other news, the sky is blue, water is wet, pope is still catholic and 99% of bears still shit in the woods.

lego, for when you're just too damn lazy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTsXlTKaFq0